Currently in the United States, over 44 million Americans spend on average 20 hours per week caring for a loved one whether it’s a family member or a close friend. This care ranges from doing a few helpful things like preparing an extra meal or helping with shopping and house cleaning to more personal chores like bathing, toileting, dispensing medications and helping with medical matters. According to AARP, it’s family caregivers who provide over 75% of the unpaid “informal” care to those who need it. This amounts to an incredible 37 billion hours of unpaid care. For many caregivers the journey to caregiving is slow and gradual as they take on more and more of the daily responsibilities of helping a loved one age comfortably in their own home. For others, the route to “caregiver” happens in a tragic instant after their loved one faces a medical crisis. The average caregiver provides personal care and performs household maintenance chores for at least twelve hours a week for an average of 4.3 years. Despite all these figures, caregivers don’t see themselves as such. They view themselves as daughters or sons helping out or temporarily stepping in after some crisis. They’re doing what’s considered to be the norm as a loving family member. Yet this is all done despite the fact that they are juggling their own personal family life and a job. They can be certain of one thing – the caregiving doesn’t get easier. It generally gets more complicated and takes up more and more of their limited time. Eventually there is a price to be paid. The ever-growing burden of caregiving often results in stress related illness, emotional or mental health problems, and stressed family relations. For these reasons, it’s important for family caregivers to identify themselves as such. If you don’t think of yourself as a “caregiver”, you probably won’t take the next step of looking for support and information to help you along your journey. Fortunately, help is out there. A good starting point would be a family meeting to identify your loved ones needs and problems and to develop a plan for sharing responsibilities. There are many caregiver support groups, some of them on-line, that offer educational information and emotional support. You can connect with others who are also dealing with the same issues that you are facing. Adult respite care is available whether through a senior center or a home care agency. This would give you a temporary mental and physical break. So recognize your role and realize you are not alone and know that YOU ARE A CAREGIVER. Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com
Tag Archives: caregiver stress
According to a report by Emblem Health, there are close to sixty six million caregivers in the United States. That means almost one in every three people provides personal care to a loved one or family member. Typically a caregiver’s job includes helping with transportation, grocery shopping, preparing meals, helping with medication, and doing housework. Personal care often includes helping their loved one get dressed, helping with a bath or shower, or help with getting to and from the toilet. The burden of providing all this care usually falls to family members who also have jobs to go to, their own homes and families to take care of, and often their own personal health issues to deal with. The stresses of dealing with all of these responsibilities can in fact turn a caregiver into a patient in need of help. It’s important for caregivers to realize that they must care for themselves and take steps to maintain their own health and well being if they want to be effective in caring for their loved one.
The most effective things a caregiver can do to help their own well-being is first, to accept the fact that they are human and cannot fix everything and second, take a break. A caregiver is not a miracle worker and needs to be realistic about what can be accomplished. Taking a break from caregiving responsibilities relieves caregiver stress and improves the ability to provide care. A break can be something as simple as taking some time to read a book or take a walk or getting some extra scheduled down time. Scheduling down time can be a few hours off or even better, getting regularly scheduled respite care. The respite care may involve using adult day care services for your loved one or regularly scheduling a home health care aide to take care of some of the responsibilities. The bottom line is that its important that the caregiver attends to their own personal health and well being without feeling guilty about getting some much needed help. What steps have you taken to care for the caregiver? Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com
Being a caregiver for an aging friend or relative can often be a time consuming and daunting job. At least forty two percent of family caregivers spend more than thirty hours a week providing care and seventy six percent of family caregivers say they don’t receive help from other family members. This can make an already tiring job even more stressful not to mention the natural resentment that builds when you feel your siblings are leaving you alone to handle everything. Family dynamics can often play a part in determining who the primary caregiver is. According to the National Association of Geriatric Case Managers, in 99.9% of families, only one sibling takes on the responsibilities of providing care and it’s usually based on geography….the closer you live to mom and dad, the more likely you’ll be the one filling the role of caregiver. Other factors include your work and family situations, your own finances, and your marital status. Very often the problem of getting help from uninvolved siblings can be traced to an issue with communication. Once you take on the role of caregiver, the natural progression of things results in you taking on more and more work as your loved one ages and their health declines. If you just go about your daily tasks and don’t let your siblings know of any changes in your loved one’s condition over time, your siblings may just assume everything is fine and you don’t need any help. So they don’t offer any. It’s best to have a family meeting early in your journey to caregiving….before you are burned out and resentful. It would allow you to openly discuss what the future may hold and would allow family members to identify what their contributions to caregiving would be. Different family members have different talents and different ideas of what “help” means. It would also allow siblings the chance to indicate if there are any personal issues no one is aware of that may limit how much they can help. It’s important to be specific when talking about what would be helpful to you — general pleas for help are just too vague. If you need someone to drive your loved one to appointments or help with the grocery shopping, be clear about it. Don’t assume anyone instinctively knows what needs to be done. It’s important to be honest and try to understand differing points of view while keeping lines of communication open with your siblings. If you get to the point where you aren’t communicating with each other, your loved one is the person who will end up suffering the most. If siblings remain unresponsive or unhelpful, despite your best efforts to communicate with them, consider other options for getting help. Check into getting some in-home services and arranging some respite care. If you allow yourself to get burned out, you won’t be able to help your loved one. How have you gotten siblings on board with caring for your loved one? Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com
If you are caring for an elderly parent or a relative who can’t live on his or her own, you’ll soon been entering the most stressful time of the year for you. The traditional holiday season between Thanksgiving and New Year simply compounds your already stressful life in a number of ways. You’re already trying to keep the delicate balance between your job, your family life with its demanding schedule, and your efforts to properly care for your loved one. Add to this mix all the holiday preparations, family get togethers, and dicey winter weather, and you’ve got the perfect combination for caregiver stress. With some planning you can increase your chances of surviving or even enjoying the holidays.
Perhaps the best thing you can do is accept the fact that the holidays needn’t follow the same cookie cutter pattern every year. Different is okay. Endless days of cooking and baking followed by hours and hours of gift buying excursions aren’t necessary. Take some short cuts – shop online, order out, and enlist the help of family and friends. You don’t have to accept every holiday invitation you receive nor do you have to invite a massive crowd to family gatherings. Sometimes just dealing with family dynamics during gatherings can be enough to wear you down. There may be those who are long on criticizing what you do as a caregiver but short on actually offering any help. If so, take the opportunity to ask for help and be specific about what would be helpful to you. You may be surprised with a cooperative response. Don’t be shy about getting family members on board.
There are practical things you can do to make the season run more smoothly. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Cut back on how much holiday decorating you’ve traditionally done. Keep gatherings at a smaller, more manageable scale, and suggest potluck meals with everyone bringing a dish. Try to stay organized by keeping a to-do list to help you stay in control of your time. Adjust the time of day gatherings are held to accommodate what works well for your loved one. Don’t neglect yourself. Eat well and get enough sleep. Try to fit in some “me-time” so you can de-stress. Use the resources that are out there whether you call on family and friends or enlist the aid of an in-home agency. Give yourself a break. After all, caregivers deserve a holiday too. Do you have any tips for surviving the holidays? Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com
The holiday season is finally in full swing and before your know it, we’ll be ushering in the New Year. We’ll be looking at the past year and promising ourselves that this new year will be different. We’ll think of all the things that went wrong and come up with a nice list of changes for the coming year that will make everything so much better. Sound familiar? As caregivers, it’s easy to blame ourselves for anything that might have gone wrong while we cared for our loved one. Did we put our loved one first? Were we attentive to their needs?
I’m sure the list of New Year resolutions will look something like this:
#1. I will get all the sleep and rest I need.
#2. I will do all I can to have a healthy lifestyle.
#3. I’ll ask for and accept all the help I can get.
#4. I will do something every day to de-stress a bit.
#5. I promise to keep up a social life.
#6. I will communicate and share with others who are going through the same experiences I am.
#7. I will use respite care whenever I can.
#8. I will learn all I can about my loved one’s condition.
After looking at all of these resolutions, you can see a common thread. They can all be replaced with an attitude adjustment. As caregivers, we need to shift our concerns to caring for ourselves! Somehow it seems wrong to even say that. We’ve spent an awful lot of time putting someone else’s needs ahead of our own and just thinking about yourself seems so selfish. The thing to remember is that if we aren’t in good shape physically and emotionally, we’ll be ineffective as caregivers and end up being useless to those we care for. This year my goal is to wake up every morning and remind myself that it’s all about me. What resolutions are you making for the new year? Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com
Well, we’ve reached that wonderful time of year fondly known as the “holiday season”. This year it began on October 31st. I know….that was Halloween, but all the stores had their Thanksgiving and Christmas decorations up already. Of course, these will be followed by Kwanza and then New Year’s Day will mark the end of the season. If you are a caregiver, this can be a time of very mixed emotions. We all have in the back of our minds a Norman Rockwell memory of holiday seasons past. We remember huge family gatherings, laughter, a table covered with wonderful family favorite dishes, and gifts galore. There were days filled with cooking and baking, shopping for gifts, and decorating our homes. But things are different now. Now a great portion of your time is taken up with all the duties of caring for a senior or loved one. Add to that the time your job and caring for your family takes and you quickly find yourself feeling overwhelmed and resenting the holidays. The memories stirred up by holidays make us realize how much life has changed.
Perhaps the only way to get through this time is with a spirit of acceptance. Accept that life is different. There is no right way or wrong way to celebrate a holiday and every holiday season doesn’t have to be the same. Don’t let yourself become overwhelmed while you try to keep up old family traditions. Think about what’s really important to you and your family and try to just do those things. Set limits on what you’re willing to do and don’t make too many social commitments.
There are some practical things you can do to make the season run more smoothly. Simplify things. You can cut back on how much decorating you’ve traditionally done. You don’t have to spend days baking every type of cookie under the sun….there are a lot of wonderful bakeries out there and some deliver right to your door. Ask family members for help….maybe they’d like to do some of the holiday cooking or baking. Keep family gatherings at a smaller more manageable scale and suggest a potluck dinner with everyone bringing something. Most importantly, don’t neglect yourself. Do something for yourself to lower the holiday stress level. Use the resources that are out there whether you call on family and friends or enlist an in-home agency and give yourself a much needed break. After all, caregivers deserve a holiday too. As a caregiver, how have you adjusted your holidays? Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com