Category Archives: companionship

Daylight Saving Time and Seniors


This Sunday, March 8th, starts the beginning of Daylight Saving Time for this year. Be sure to set your clocks forward one hour before going to bed Saturday night. Most of us get accustomed to this yearly time change with a few extra cups of coffee or if possible, an afternoon nap. Within a couple of days our bodies have adjusted and we’re back to the usual schedule. This isn’t the case with many seniors who are already dealing with sleep issues as they age and may have chronic conditions that lead to insomnia. Additional sources of sleep problems include medications, psychological issues like depression, and neurological illnesses such as dementia. Compounding these problems is the fact that as seniors get older they often develop “advanced sleep phase syndrome”. Their internal clock makes them sleepy earlier in the evening and wakes them earlier in the morning. Moving the clock ahead affects the senior’s circadian rhythm or natural sleep cycle. Because of daylight saving time, your loved one may have difficulty falling asleep earlier in the evening and more wakefulness in the early part of the night. This kind of sleep disruption can lead to grogginess, disorientation, and decreased ability to concentrate.

There are several things that can be done to adjust to the new “spring forward” time. Most importantly, get as much exposure to light during the day as possible. Natural sunlight suppresses your body’s production of melatonin which induces sleep. Keep window blinds open to sunlight and get outdoors if possible. Dim lights in the evening and avoid the bright lights of the television or computer screen before bed and be sure to use a night light in the bathroom at night instead of turning on overhead lights. If you find that you must take a nap, be sure it’s short and that you take it earlier in the day rather than later. You’ll be feeling hungry later in the day but be careful to avoid a heavy meal at least two to three hours before your bedtime. Stay away from caffeine after noon because it can affect your sleep for ten to twelve hours after consumption. Avoid alcohol before bed. Although it may help you fall asleep by relaxing you, it will actually make it harder for you to stay asleep. Limit the amount of liquids you consume for a couple of hours before you go to bed. Getting up to go to the bathroom is the major cause of waking at night for seniors. Following these suggestions should help your senior adjust more quickly to the time change but if the sleep schedule doesn’t return to normal in a few weeks, it may be time to consult your doctor. How do you adjust to the time change? Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Caregiver, companionship, Home Care, Senior Care, Trillium HomeCare

Getting Family On Board

Being a caregiver for an aging friend or relative can often be a time consuming and daunting job. At least forty two percent of family caregivers spend more than thirty hours a week providing care and seventy six percent of family caregivers say they don’t receive help from other family members. This can make an already tiring job even more stressful not to mention the natural resentment that builds when you feel your siblings are leaving you alone to handle everything. Family dynamics can often play a part in determining who the primary caregiver is. According to the National Association of Geriatric Case Managers, in 99.9% of families, only one sibling takes on the responsibilities of providing care and it’s usually based on geography….the closer you live to mom and dad, the more likely you’ll be the one filling the role of caregiver. Other factors include your work and family situations, your own finances, and your marital status. Very often the problem of getting help from uninvolved siblings can be traced to an issue with communication. Once you take on the role of caregiver, the natural progression of things results in you taking on more and more work as your loved one ages and their health declines. If you just go about your daily tasks and don’t let your siblings know of any changes in your loved one’s condition over time, your siblings may just assume everything is fine and you don’t need any help. So they don’t offer any. It’s best to have a family meeting early in your journey to caregiving….before you are burned out and resentful. It would allow you to openly discuss what the future may hold and would allow family members to identify what their contributions to caregiving would be. Different family members have different talents and different ideas of what “help” means. It would also allow siblings the chance to indicate if there are any personal issues no one is aware of that may limit how much they can help. It’s important to be specific when talking about what would be helpful to you — general pleas for help are just too vague. If you need someone to drive your loved one to appointments or help with the grocery shopping, be clear about it. Don’t assume anyone instinctively knows what needs to be done. It’s important to be honest and try to understand differing points of view while keeping lines of communication open with your siblings. If you get to the point where you aren’t communicating with each other, your loved one is the person who will end up suffering the most. If siblings remain unresponsive or unhelpful, despite your best efforts to communicate with them, consider other options for getting help. Check into getting some in-home services and arranging some respite care. If you allow yourself to get burned out, you won’t be able to help your loved one. How have you gotten siblings on board with caring for your loved one? Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com

Leave a comment

Filed under Aging in Place, Caregiver, companionship, Home Care, Senior Care, Trillium HomeCare, Uncategorized

Saying “No” to Caregiving

According to a study by the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, there are over 44 million unpaid caregivers taking care of elders or someone with disabilities. Statistics show that the majority of care is provided by a family member with the primary caregiver being the youngest unmarried daughter or the oldest son. The closer the child lives to their parent, the more likely they are to become responsible for their parent’s welfare. If there are no local family members, friends often become caregivers. The path to becoming a caregiver can be slow with the caregiver gradually taking on more and more of the responsibility of caring for a parent as they age, or it can be sudden if a parent has a health crisis or suddenly becomes incapacitated. In both cases, neither the parent nor their child realizes there is a caregiver relationship going on. The ongoing care is basically born from a desire to keep a loved one safe and to provide the best care possible.

Very often, it’s not until the caregiver starts developing “symptoms” that they realize they are fully engulfed in their role as caregiver and are in fact dealing with the stress of that role. Some of the symptoms of caregiver stress include anger, fatigue, poor sleep or health, irritability, and depression. The caregiver may feel hopeless, thinking there’s no light at the end of the tunnel and may in fact want to avoid their loved one. If you are losing yourself to the job of caregiving, it may be time to say “no”. Even though you may be overwhelmed, that’s a pretty hard thing to do. After all, you’ve come to believe that only you can do the best for your parent. In fact, that’s not true. You need to realize and accept that you can’t fix everything that is wrong and there are limits to what you can do. Becoming a martyr helps no one. Your role as a primary caregiver is critical enough that your poor health will surely put your elder at risk also. It’s important to decide what’s reasonable for you to do and to assess other aspects of your personal life and see where your role as caregiver fits in. Set boundaries for your role and get help before you reach a breaking point. Getting help doesn’t mean you’ve failed as a caregiver or left a parent to fend for themselves. It just means that something has to change so that you can continue to be useful to the one you love. Have you had to say “no” as a caregiver? Please share your thoughts below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com.

Leave a comment

Filed under Aging in Place, Caregiver, companionship, Home Care, Senior Care, Trillium HomeCare

Resistance to In-Home Care

If you’re caring for an aging parent or beloved senior, a time may come when you realistically decide that additional help from an agency is needed. The demands on your time and abilities are greater than you can meet but you still want your parent or senior to live comfortably and safely in their own home. The obvious choice is to get some help. So you make a list. How much help do they need? What kinds of services are needed and how often? After assessing your loved one’s needs, you start the selection process. You make sure the agency is reputable with trained and experienced staff. You verify that the staff has had background checks and is properly supervised. The agency develops a care plan with you and continuity of care is assured. If an employee calls in, a replacement is available and a management team member can be reached twenty four hours a day. You make your choice and start thinking about how great it would be to have a whole day to yourself. It sounds pretty good, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately, your greatest challenge may still be ahead. Often, the person needing help can be resistant if not openly hostile to the idea of getting some outside help. Your parent or loved one may not even recognize they need help or may resent what appears to be an intrusion into their private lives. For many seniors change is difficult to handle. They’ve been leading their lives in what for them has become a comfortable routine. As they age, friends pass away, the body develops all kinds of aches and pains and they can no longer keep up with what was once their younger more active lifestyle. The last thing they want to do is make more changes or adjustments to their lives by letting someone new and unfamiliar in. To them it may even suggest a certain loss of control or independence.

The most important thing you can do to deal with your loved one’s resistance to in-home care is to keep them involved in the decision making process and the conversation about their care. Ask them about their thoughts and preferences and keep your plans and explanations simple and clear. Enlist the help of family and friends and try to describe the benefits of care in a positive way. You may need to point out that outside help will also make your life easier and give you time to enjoy just being with them. Point out that the primary goal is to have them remain in their own home for as long as possible. Pick your battles. Suggest a trial run so they can see first hand the benefits of getting help. If these measures don’t work, you may need to enlist the aid of their doctor or a social worker but whatever you do, don’t give up. Have you had to deal with resistance to in-home care? Share your thoughts below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com

1 Comment

Filed under Aging in Place, Caregiver, companionship, Home Care, Senior Care, Trillium HomeCare, Uncategorized

The Danger of Denial


If you care for an aging parent or loved one you need to be careful that you yourself don’t fall into denial. Denial is actually a strong defense mechanism that you may be using unconsciously to help deal with what you know is coming down the road. Perhaps you come to your loved one’s home daily just to make sure everything is okay. Maybe Mom doesn’t like driving so you take her on all her errands. You’re sure to be there the night before the garbage has to be set out so Dad doesn’t have to do it. And you go back the next day to take the cans in. It snowed last night so you get there in the morning so the snow gets shoveled and Dad doesn’t have to risk falling when he goes out to get the paper. Your loved one has a doctor appointment so you go along as a second set of ears and to pick up the prescription. It’s a lot of extra work in your life and takes up much of your time but so far you’re holding up okay. Does any of this sound familiar? Because you are with your loved one so often, you’ve surely seen changes in how your senior moves, how they function, and what their limitations are as they age. If you are taking on more and more of their activities of daily life, you’re probably in denial that they need help. You may not want to believe that and may dread having a conversation about it with them. If you hold off for a bit longer, perhaps they themselves will realize its time to get help. It can be a difficult and uncomfortable topic so you keep waiting. It’s perfectly normal to deny something unpleasant or frightening but it can prevent us from facing the facts and can in reality be dangerous for our loved ones because denial will keep us from preparing for what’s ahead whether its an accident or the worsening of some chronic condition. Not addressing the issue won’t keep it from happening. Take a realistic look at your loved one’s situation and be careful not to fool yourself into complacency. Making plans and decisions about the future care of your loved one is much easier to do when you’re not in the midst of some medical crisis. How did you come to the realization that your loved one needs some extra care? Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com

1 Comment

Filed under Aging in Place, Caregiver, companionship, Farmington Hills, Health care services, Home Care, Senior Care, Trillium HomeCare

Surviving The Holidays

If you are caring for an elderly parent or a relative who can’t live on his or her own, you’ll soon been entering the most stressful time of the year for you. The traditional holiday season between Thanksgiving and New Year simply compounds your already stressful life in a number of ways. You’re already trying to keep the delicate balance between your job, your family life with its demanding schedule, and your efforts to properly care for your loved one. Add to this mix all the holiday preparations, family get togethers, and dicey winter weather, and you’ve got the perfect combination for caregiver stress. With some planning you can increase your chances of surviving or even enjoying the holidays.
Perhaps the best thing you can do is accept the fact that the holidays needn’t follow the same cookie cutter pattern every year. Different is okay. Endless days of cooking and baking followed by hours and hours of gift buying excursions aren’t necessary. Take some short cuts – shop online, order out, and enlist the help of family and friends. You don’t have to accept every holiday invitation you receive nor do you have to invite a massive crowd to family gatherings. Sometimes just dealing with family dynamics during gatherings can be enough to wear you down. There may be those who are long on criticizing what you do as a caregiver but short on actually offering any help. If so, take the opportunity to ask for help and be specific about what would be helpful to you. You may be surprised with a cooperative response. Don’t be shy about getting family members on board.
There are practical things you can do to make the season run more smoothly. Simplify, simplify, simplify. Cut back on how much holiday decorating you’ve traditionally done. Keep gatherings at a smaller, more manageable scale, and suggest potluck meals with everyone bringing a dish. Try to stay organized by keeping a to-do list to help you stay in control of your time. Adjust the time of day gatherings are held to accommodate what works well for your loved one. Don’t neglect yourself. Eat well and get enough sleep. Try to fit in some “me-time” so you can de-stress. Use the resources that are out there whether you call on family and friends or enlist the aid of an in-home agency. Give yourself a break. After all, caregivers deserve a holiday too. Do you have any tips for surviving the holidays? Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com

Leave a comment

Filed under Caregiver, companionship, Home Care, Senior Care, Trillium HomeCare

When It’s Time for Home Care

There are a lot of guides available to help you decide if someone you care about has reached the point of needing outside help. If you do a web search for “time for home care”, an incredible list of sites appears with all kinds of signs to look for in your aging parent or loved one that will signal their need for help with daily living. These clues include poor personal hygiene, difficulty managing daily living activities such as housework and grocery shopping, missed appointments, and problems taking medications as prescribed. Although these clues are certainly important when deciding if you should look to professional help for your loved one, a consideration that is often overlooked is YOU.

If you’ve been your loved one’s primary caregiver, you need to assess your own condition also. According to the Family Caregiving Alliance there are over 44 million unpaid caregivers in America and they are definitely paying a price. The effects of being a caregiver are both psychological and physical. The strain of caring for a friend or relative who is frail or elderly causes significant clinical symptoms of depression in 40%-70% of all unpaid caregivers. Take some time to think about yourself. Do you feel stressed all the time? Do you feel frustrated, angry or hopelessly drained at the end of the day? Are you no longer in control of your own life? Are you becoming more isolated and do you continue to maintain social contact with friends and relatives … when did you last have some “me time”? Are all the hours of your day filled with obligations to your job, your family, and your loved one?

How are you doing physically? The stress felt caring for someone long term has been linked to elevated blood pressure, a compromised immune system, and heart disease. Is your blood pressure up? Do you seem to catch every cold or bug that comes your way? Caregivers typically don’t have time to take care of their own health needs. Do you get regular checkups with your doctor and your dentist? Do you take the time to prepare nutritious meals for yourself or to get some exercise? Do you have insomnia or stomach complaints? Do you actually feel guilty if on some rare occasion you take the time to enjoy a former hobby or interest?

Be careful not to miss the signs of needing help, both in your loved one and most importantly in yourself. Don’t wait for a crisis to happen with the one you care for or with yourself. After all, the best way to help your loved one is to make sure you are at your best. It may be time to get some help. How did you know it was time to get professional help? Share below and vist us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com

1 Comment

Filed under Aging in Place, Caregiver, companionship, Home Care, Senior Care, Trillium HomeCare

The Road To Caregiving

According to the US Department of Labor, over half of America’s workforce is involved in some way with caring for an aging parent or relative. Up to eighty percent of this help is unpaid and according to AARP, the average caregiver provides personal care and does household maintenance chores for at least twelve hours per week. The road to becoming a caregiver for a loved one is often winding with a son or daughter occasionally “helping out”. Your parents slowly age and adaptations are made to accommodate gradual changes in their abilities. Perhaps you offer to help with their banking or write out the bills. If they need groceries you offer to drive them to the store or pick up a few things for them yourself. Maybe you go to the doctor with them to make sure they clearly understand what the doctor has to say. At this point, you don’t view yourself as a “caregiver”. You’re just being a helpful child.

As time goes by and your “helping out” becomes a necessity, it will dawn on you that you are in fact a caregiver. You realize one day that if you stop doing all those helpful things, your loved one won’t be able to function on their own. You now feel obligated to do all these things or to make arrangements so that they do get done. Your loved one’s daily functioning is now your personal responsibility. Welcome to the world of caregiving. You will soon realize what a demanding job this is particularly because you’ll also be juggling a job, family, and personal issues of your own. If your parent or loved one suffers a medical crisis, your level of providing care will rise dramatically. Although your desire may be to tackle this job totally on your own, doing that will surely result in stress, exhaustion, and even physical illness. No matter how much you love someone, where will you find all the hours in the day that you and your loved one need? Be careful not to allow yourself to reach the point of total exhaustion. If you use up all your time and energy to be a caregiver, you will no doubt be robbing you and your loved one of quality time that could otherwise be spent with each other. Be aware there will come a time when it makes sense to get some help. Be wary of taking on so much that you lose sight of your well meant goal of providing the best of care which your loved one both needs and deserves. The road to caregiving is long and full of potholes. Don’t let yourself get run over. Please share your thoughts and experiences below. Visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com

Leave a comment

Filed under Aging in Place, Caregiver, companionship, Home Care, Senior Care, Trillium HomeCare, Uncategorized

Time To Hire A Professional Caregiver?

Hindsight is 20/20 but it’s important not to get to that point when it comes to making care decisions for an elderly parent or loved one. Very often, by the time you’ve made the decision to get some help from a professional caregiver, you’re already past the point of burnout. You’re more exhausted than you ever thought could be possible and you wonder why you didn’t get help sooner. Guilt very often plays a part in your delayed decision because you feel it’s something you should have been able to do for your loved one so they could remain comfortably in their homes as they aged. Your role as caregiver slowly and almost imperceptibly increases and perhaps on a deeper level you don’t want to see that your loved one needs more help than you can give. Be careful not to miss the signs that your parent or loved one can’t go it alone.

*How’s their personal hygiene? Do they bathe regularly or is there an odor about them? Is hair combed and are teeth brushed? Are they wearing the same clothes for days on end?
*Is the house clean and being maintained? Is there a lot of clutter or unopened mail? Is the garbage taken out on a regular schedule? Is there an odor of urine when you step inside?
*Are nutritional needs being taken care of? Is there any spoiled food in the refrigerator? Is there food in the cupboard? Have they lost any weight and are they remembering to eat?
*Is your loved one able to drive safely? Are there any unexplained dings or dents in the car? Do they get to where they’re going without incident? Do they get lost in familiar location or when traveling a route they’ve taken many times before?
*Do they miss any doctor or dentist appointments? Are they able to follow the doctor’s directions? Do they take their medications as prescribed? Do they remember to get prescriptions filled?
*Is your loved one maintaining a social life? Do they stay in contact with friends and relatives or have you become their sole source of human interaction? Have old hobbies or interests gone by the wayside?

If you see some of these changes, it may be time to get some help. There is nothing to be gained from ignoring the signs. Getting some help to keep your loved one safely in the home they want to be in, is truly an act of love. Please share your thoughts and experiences below. http://www.trilliumhomecare.com

Leave a comment

Filed under Aging in Place, Caregiver, companionship, Home Care, Personal care, Senior Care, Trillium HomeCare, West Bloomfield

Hiring a Caregiver Privately?

According to the National Alliance for Caregiving, more than 65.7 million Americans provide informal care for a family member or loved one. Most of us come by the role of caregiver gradually. We start by “helping out” when we notice a parent or loved one is having some difficulty taking care of some routine tasks they once managed well. In time our list of responsibilities gets longer and our loved one needs much more help. And then it happens….we see there is so much more to do than we have hours in the day for. Perhaps there’s been a medical crisis or an accident. We realize some outside help is needed.

Once you’ve made the decision to get help, it’s easy to believe all you have to do is hire someone. If you choose to hire someone directly to care for your loved one be sure you know what goes with your new role as employer. This means that now you have switched jobs from “caregiver” to “accountant” because you will now have to take care of payroll and tax requirements since the IRS views you as the caregiver’s employer. According to foxbusiness.com, if the caregiver you hire earns more than $1000 a quarter or over $1900 a year, you’ll have to file payroll taxes including Social Security and Medicare taxes, Federal Unemployment Tax, state unemployment and disability insurance taxes levied on the employer, and advance payments of the earned income credit if your employee is eligible. These thresholds and figures may change yearly so you will need to verify them every year. You also have to know what taxes your employee has to pay and will have to provide a Form W2 to your employee by January 31st of every year. In addition, you’ll need to pay for worker’s compensation and disability insurance in case your caregiver gets hurt while caring for your loved one.

If the caregiver you hire claims to be working as an “independent contractor” and no money should be withheld for any taxes, they are wrong. According to the IRS an independent contractor has total control over their work hours, their responsibilities, and schedules. This does not apply to your employee because the caregiver will be providing the services you want on the schedule and terms you set. Failure on your part to fulfill your accounting duties as the employer of a caregiver will alert the IRS, set you up for an audit, and can even result in compromising your own personal taxes. You’ll have to pay back the unpaid taxes along with interest and possible penalties. Be certain you make the correct decision when hiring a caregiver. Are you prepared to be an accountant in addition to dealing with all the work and responsibility of caring for a loved one? Share below and visit us at http://www.trilliumhomecare.com

Leave a comment

Filed under Aging in Place, Caregiver, companionship, Home Care, Personal care, Senior Care, Trillium HomeCare